When we feel like giving up ...

hi friends. I shared this with the music team today. Hope it brings encouragement to those of us struggling in life. Hope this blog can be one where we share our journeys in our Christian life. I did this passage a few weeks back and well it did not really strike a chord in my life till these few days. It just shows that sometimes when we do our QT, the passage may not be relevant to us for that day but God's word has a way of coming back to us in our life to remind us of his goodness and faithfulness.

How has the Word of God impacted your life this week? Has his Word become relevant in your everyday life? Do share and pray tell :)

Psalm 42:1-11

For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah. [a]
[b] As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My [c] soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

I am sure all of us have our bad hair days or like the expression says 'woken up on the wrong side of bed' where everything we planned to do or do seems to go wrong for us. Many of us have experienced days when things were going on well and we tell the Lord that nothing is going to shake us. Then out of the blue, we are overwhelmed by circumstances beyond our control and doubts begin to fill our hearts and minds. It could be our struggles with ministry as we serve the Lord. It could be some struggles in our personal life.

But the struggles have become so bad and like the Psalmist, we ask ourselves:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?

We see many servants of the Lord going through hard times in their lives. Moses for one had to open up a Complaints Counter to listen to the ‘mountain of complains’ that that Israelites had. No food, no meat .... are but some. I don’t know which was more tiring for him – climbing up Mt Sinai to meet God or to be at the foot of the mountain of complaints listening to complaints after complaints from the Israelites. He was besieged with so much complaints that he could not take it anymore. In Numbers 11:10-15, we read that Moses basically had it and he told God that this burden of his people was too heavy for him and basically he told God to kill him at once.

In 1 Kings 19:4, we read about how Elijah’s life was threatened by the very people he was trying to reach out to. He was so discouraged when he found out that Jezebel had a death warrant for him. He ran for his life and told God in v4 “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life …”.

Even Paul had his moments of depression. In his letter to the church in Corinth in 2 Corinthians 1:8, we see Paul’s struggles
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.


Even Jeremiah was driven to the point where he struggled with the many sufferings he had to endure while bringing God’s word to the people. In Jeremiah 20:8-9 CEV it says

“…Your message has brought me
nothing but insults
and trouble.
9Sometimes I tell myself
not to think about you, LORD,
or even mention your name.”

And in v19, Jeremiah asks of the Lord
18Why did I have to be born?
Was it just to suffer
and die in shame?”

Just looking at some of the many struggles that the servants of God before us have gone through, I can identify some of their uncertainties and hopelessness that they felt and like them felt that it is better for God to take away my life then for me to feel the pain, the hopelessness and the burdens we face in life.

Allow me to share my recent struggles in life.

It's been a few draining weeks of being unwell and struggling to make sense of certain things happening. And just when I thought things were going a bit smoother, Bam! another thing happened.

My sis had a bad fall on Sat and told me about it on monday. I was looking forward to my rest day but ended up ferrying her to the company doctor and also to get an xray done. when I reached her place, the swell was so bad that it looked like a watermelon on the outside. and she was telling me its a sprain??? Gosh! I told her it looked like its broken!!!

So after xrays, it was confirmed. She broke her last metatarsal bone on her right foot and she joins the elite group of footballers like David Beckham, Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney, etc for the dreaded curse of the metatarsal bone.

Took leave on Tuesday to bring her back to SGH to get it in cast and hope she recovers in 6-8 weeks time. After that, I went to do grocery shopping with her so that she has somethings to eat at home. Brought back memories when we - my sis, my brother and I were staying together on our own and we learned to take care of one another.

I hope it will be a good break (in a literal sense as well) for her to reflect her own journey with God. She has been offered a job in Shanghai and was leaving this month to sign the contract of 4 years. I was telling her to stay behind here as she has a family here to look after her. My words fell to deaf ears and I am thinking perhaps this recent mishap is somehow God's way of dealing with her stubborness. I pray that the Lord may be merciful to her and be patient and may one day bring her back to his loving arms. I find it a struggle to talk sense to her at times. How do you try not to sound so preachy when you are supposed to be a 'preacher'?

I am really tired and just really really drained ... physically and emotionally ...

Coming back to today's sharing. In verse 5 of today’s reading, we see that the Psalmist was going through some hard times too. In v3, we read that his tears have been his food day and night and as he pours out his soul, he is wondering where is God.

In v5 he says
“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.”

In v8, the Psalmist remembers the Lord’s steadfast love. The Psalmist also has a song which he sings to remind him of God’s love and keeps him company even at night. And this song has become like a prayer to God in his life.

I came home yesterday totally drained after my long talk with my sis and just being worried for her spiritual life. It's times like these you wished Jesus was at home to welcome you and ask you to come and sit down with him and spend time with him. It's also times like these you feel so burdened and wished you have one word from him to give you light for the way? And it was then i opened up my email and saw Roy sharing us with the beautiful song - Salvation's Song. I broke down and just cried to the Lord asking him for forgiveness in having so little faith in him. And there and then I placed my burdens before him knowing that "he is there to lift me, heal me and forgive me, gives me strength to stand again, stronger than I was before." The song touched my heart so much that it kept repeating itself in my head over and over again the whole night through.

"Loved before the dawn of time
Chosen by my Maker,
Hidden in my Saviour:
I am His and He is mine,
Cherished for eternity.

When I'm stained with guilt and sin,
He is there to lift me,
Heal me and forgive me;
Gives me strength to stand again,
Stronger than I was before.

So with every breath that I am given
I will sing salvation’s song;
And I’ll join the chorus of creation
Giving praise to Christ alone."

As we go about in our Christian life, we may have to face many trials in our lives and at times, we are driven to desperation to make sense of what’s happening. And sometimes we are driven to the point of asking the Lord to take us home.

Paul encourages us by telling us that “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”

Can we learn from Paul that when things go wrong in our lives, we ought not not to rely on ourselves but on God?

Can we like the Psalmist put our hope in God and sing a song of praise to our Saviour and God?

Instead of feeling ‘suicidal suicidal …’ like Sean Kingston does? Can we sing a song to our Saviour who brings us hope and salvation in our times of hopelessness?

The Peace of the Lord be with you ...